On 26 April, 2007, at 16:16 EDT:
danisawit.com: Last checked: 1 minute ago. 200 mails fetched. 15198 mails remaining.

Since Dan hates the Patriots, here's one for all of the fans of those bastards
(Like you, Tina):


FOR THE HOLIDAYS - An ISawIt.com Original:
Twas the Night Before Crapfest - An Audio Story.
It's not funny, we were just really bored.


NEW! - A revamped version of a previously-hilarious parody. Do you like De Niro? Pesci? Flintstone? Then we recommend checking out the new video in either Low Quality or Decent Quality.


JUST RELEASED! - Traveling to China? You need to download ISawIt.com's Chinese Translator for Windows 2000, XP, and maybe some other crappy operating systems. FULL CHINA!!!!


WNEP.com continues to be a great source of laughter for us around here. Check out the latest.


The weather in Northeast Pennsylvania is always changing, but the fine meteorologists at our local television station, WNEP [Channel 16] are always on top of it. Make sure you refresh the page when you check it out.



Former Washington Senators pitcher Joe Grzenda
of Daleville, Pennsylvania, presents President
George W. Bush with a 34-year-old ball that he
used during the last Senators game in 1971 as a
member of the U.S. military becomes a Nazi Satanist.

 

"Psst.... don't tell my mom, but this cake tastes like SHIT!"
[12:17:36] Dan: We'll play nice and calm, then cheer out loud.
[12:17:54] Justin: Ah, true, lull them into a false sense of security before we announce that we're dicks

When the children hear about Jesus and how lovin' and carin' he was . . . how he gave his all to God's children and how it got him nailed to a tree, it will be amazin' to see whose eyes light up with hope and whose burn with newfound survival instincts.
- Fred MacIntire, Something Positive

[15:50:40] Justin: She's a penis fly trap

[11:40:46] Justin: Yeah, chicks got stoned for liking to fuck back then
[11:41:09] Justin: Today, they just like to get stoned and fuck

[12:09:59]  Me: Willie retreats back into himself at the mere sound of her voice, eh?
[12:11:03]  J @ Work (SF): Yeah, pretty much
[12:11:48]  Me: Poor little thing.
[12:11:58]  Me: BLECH!
[12:12:10]  Me: I just got a really vivid mental picture of your dick.
[12:12:17]  Me: And I can't get it out of my fucking brain.
[12:12:21]  Me: FUCK!
[12:12:21]  J @ Work (SF): Impressed?
[12:12:23]  Me: NO!
[12:12:31]  Me: Dude, what the fuck?
[12:12:34]  Me: ACK!
[12:12:42]  J @ Work (SF): Ew, stop dreaming about my cock, fag
[12:12:50]  Me: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[12:12:53]  ***  Settings saved to /home/dan/.naimrc.
[12:12:53]  ***  Disconnected from AIM: User disconnected.
[12:12:53]  ***  (J @ Work (SF)) [Not Me] isn't available.... pole-smoker that he is....
[12:12:53]  ***  Type /AIM:connect to reconnect.
----- I closed the fucking log file 2007-04-05T12:12 -----
 
(10:59:33) Me @ Work: CNN said that Barack Obama is going to make a speech shortly with a big announcement.
(10:59:49) Me @ Work: And while no one knows what it's about, it's said that it will affect millions of children.
(11:00:01) Me @ Work: I was cracking up, hearing his voice in my head.
(11:00:06) Me @ Work: "Boys and girls...."
(11:00:12) Me @ Work: ".... there is no Santa Claus."
(11:11:56) Me @ Work: Oh, Secretary of Education.
(11:12:04) nate: yeah
(11:12:05) nate: but
(11:12:08) nate: why would it be that big of a thing
(11:12:17) nate: unless he's announcing like, michael jackson or something
David: Yeah there's a lot at play, but it would seem that the higher you go the faster, harder, and more you splat when you hit.
me: Right.
Instead, you lose speed with the closer you are to the ground.
For example, you wouldn't be able to reach terminal velocity at sea level.
The pressure is too great.
David: Hmm I didn't know that.
me: I'm theorizing, but if I say it with conviction, it sounds like fact.
And then what are you going to do about it?
Beat me up?
I'll just make you chase me to a point near sea level, so that your punch won't hurt as much.

Internal BA Aff Test